Moms are busy. Moms are tired. And if you’re anything like me, you’re usually wishing for more hours in the day…because no matter what, it often doesn’t feel like there’s enough!
I’d like to share a couple tips I’ve learned to help me feel like my day has more time. I don’t always DO them, but if and when I do, I can tell such a difference.
1. PUT THE BIG THINGS FIRST. I saw an illustration once in Sunday school that I’ve never forgotten. The teacher brought in a jar and some ping pong balls. She put the balls in the jar and asked if it was full. We agreed it was.
Then she brought out some tiny beads. She poured them in the jar and they filled in the cracks. She asked again if it was full, and we said that it was indeed full this time.
Then she pulled out sand. Poured it in. We laughed and were certain this time that it was full…only for her to pour water in the jar.
She asked what would have happened if we’d started with the beads, or sand, or water.
There’d be no room for anything else.
And so it is with our lives. When we start our day with the “little things,” whatever they may be in your life, without taking time for the “big things” like spending a few moments alone with our Lord in Bible reading and prayer, then things feel like they won’t fit…because they won’t. The urgent overtakes the important.
But if you choose the “big things” and deliberately put them in first, you’ll notice a difference. However, the choice is YOURS to make.
As moms, it is tricky to find alone time. I totally get that. As a rule, I’d suggest definitely trying to get up before the kids, but if you are in a season of life when you have young babies, that’s not always possible. So when is your alone time supposed to be??
I heard this little way of deciding if you legitimately don’t have time or if you are just making excuses, and it has been very helpful to me. Each day, when you first find yourself doing something for you…like scrolling on your phone…that can (and should!) be your alone time with Jesus. Even if it’s only 5 minutes! Maybe make a rule for yourself (and ask a friend to keep you accountable!) that you can’t catch up on social media or check emails until you’ve spent time with Jesus…AND undistracted time with your kids. Which brings me to my next time-saving idea….
2. Just say no to endless mommy screen time.
This is a real struggle for a lot of moms I know, including this mom at times!
We complain we don’t have enough time. And yet we waste minutes which turn to hours … which add up to days, weeks, months of our life scrolling needlessly online.
Ouch.
I have found that a lot of meaningful conversations with my kids happen in those in between moments. They aren’t planned. They just happen. And so if we choose to use our time ignoring our kids and looking for something interesting in our online world…instead of engaging with them, how many of those moments and conversations do we miss? What kind of effect is that having on them?
How many conversations or sweet fun moments have you missed in real life because you were trying to find something interesting on Facebook?
Here’s a personal example…bathtime. The kids are distracted, yet I need to keep an eye on them, so… perfect time for Facebook, right?
Well, what if you I used those 10 minutes to fold laundry and just chat with the kiddos instead?
And don’t tune me out if it’s not bath time that you waste. You know you. So think about when you could lay down the phone and engage with your kids instead. It may seem like a choice too small to even make a difference, but lots of little decisions like tha throughout your day (and your life!) make a major difference in the atmosphere of your house… from the attitudes of yourself and your kids, to the overall tidiness and peacefulness of your home.
Please note, this suggestion isn’t to induce guilt. It comes from experience! Writing this post isn’t to brag that I’ve never ignored my kids (much to my shame, I have!!) But it is to draw attention to the fact that we as moms often create our own reality, and sometimes the problems we complain the most about are ones that we create ourselves.
Like…maybe your kids don’t behave because you haven’t trained them to do so.
Maybe your house is a mess because you are too busy looking at other people’s Pinterest worthy homes, instead of doing something productive at our your own home.
Maybe your marriage is falling apart because you are investing time in impressing people online who you’ve never even met, instead of looking for ways to impress and encourage the one you’ve pledged to help for the rest of your life.
Successful people often get ahead in the moments that other people waste, you know.
Read that again.
Successful people often get ahead in the moments that other people waste.
What time of day is coming to mind that you could be more intentional about being present by putting the phone away and creating a life you love instead of one you want to escape from?
Now…what are you going to DO about it???
3. Stick to premade decisions.
Maybe I’m the only one who does this, but I’ll decide on a great new rule… like “No eating anywhere in the house except the kitchen.” But then someone begs to eat in the living room “just this once” because of some really good reason.
And I’m tired. Or stressed. Or maybe I just don’t feel like being the rule enforcer. And so I give in.
When this happens, it sets off a chain of events that steal time and energy from me!!
First of all, there are crumbs and fingerprints and spills and smudges to clean up in other rooms of the house now.
Second, I find myself in a not-so-happy mood because my rule has been disobeyed (even though I technically am the one who allowed it to be disobeyed).
And third, my children are more likely to ask again down the road to bend other rules, because I gave in this time, PLUS I am more likely to let other rules slide, and therefore reap the consequences of that.
Oh and other thing…because of my mood change I’m less motivated to do other things that I may have otherwise wanted to do. See the bad chain reaction? NOT a good trade off.
So mommas, STICK TO YOUR RULES! Most likely if you have a rule, there’s a reason for it. And if there isn’t a reason for it, change your rule!
I hope these little tips make you feel like you have a little more time in your day…and therefore you get to enjoy your days a little more instead of counting the minutes til bedtime. 🙂
