Do you ever feel like maybe your little one (who’s not so little anymore) is just not as connected to you as they used to be? Maybe it’s from busyness, maybe from life circumstances out of your control, or maybe even a phase they are going through.
Capturing our children’s hearts is so important when training them in the way they should go, so that they won’t depart from that way when they grow up! (Proverbs 22:6), and I personally have found that a very effective way to do this is through intentional communication. We recently had a period of time where I just didn’t feel as connected to my little one as I used to , so here are a few ways I’ve found that really opened up communication again and gave us time to just enjoy each other’s company.
These ideas are simple and free (or almost free). Just pick one or two and try them!
- Go for a walk together and hold hands (NO PHONES ALLOWED). Few things are as lovely as a quiet walk through a park or some place away from all the hustle and bustle. It will give both of you a chance to just chat about all the things you don’t get to mention as you scurry here and there. It doesn’t have to be long. Just 15-20 minutes can make all the difference. And talk about what matters to THEM, caterpillars or clouds. It might seem like little stuff to you, but it’s big stuff to them. (Bonus Tip: Take a moment to think of someone who REALLY listens to you when you talk, and think about how that makes you feel, and then seek to be that person for your child.)
- Make up a story together. You don’t have to be creative. It doesn’t have to be great. Or even good. Or even make sense! Just say “Once upon a time, there was a ….” and let your child fill in the blanks. Go back and forth, taking turns. It will be fun. Promise ☺️
- Play dress up. Don’t shrug this one off because it requires too much effort. Use whatever you can find! Role play. Forget that you’re an adult, or that you have 101 things to do, and just engage FULLY with your child. You won’t regret it.
- Plant something. Maybe you’re like me and have a pack of seeds you’ve been going to plant forever. Just do it! If it’s winter, plant something indoors. There’s nothing like watching your plant sprout and grow together (or even wilt and die if you are like me! )
- Intentionally match each other and go out for ice cream or hot chocolate. They won’t be little forever and thus WANT to match with you. You don’t even have to really match. Just find a red shirt for you both, or silly hats, or matching shoes. It’s all in the presentation. If you’re excited, they will be too!
- Ask and answer random questions at dinner. There are plenty of questions you can print off online. But don’t just look them up. Take time to print them and leave them on your table so you’ll see them and remember to do it. We do this several nights a week and my little girl loves it! Everything from “What is your favorite color?” to “What is your biggest fear?” sparks fun conversations!
- Snuggle up with blankets, pillows and snacks and REALLY WATCH a show with them. Confession: I often I use our (rare) family movie nights as nap time. My mom used to do this too and I never understood why. (I totally get it now, mom!) But make it a point to NOT fall asleep or be on your phone, and really watch what’s going on. You’d be amazed at the conversations you can have about the situations the characters find themselves in that will teach your kids far more than a lecture. And kids know when you’re paying attention. Trust me.
The key to all of these ideas is to ENGAGE. Don’t let your mind be distracted. FOCUS on these little people God has given you and treat them with the same respect you want to be treated with. PAY ATTENTION to them. After all, the Bible tells us in Proverbs 29:15 that “…a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.” Are you leaving your children to raise themselves? If you are, remember that the end result will NOT be a good thing for you OR them.
I hope these simple ideas help you reconnect with your little kiddo(s). If you have idea you want to share, comment below!
