She Buildeth Her House

Jessica Porterfield

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How to Find the Help You’re Looking For

“There is no king saved by the multitude of an host: A mighty man is not delivered by much strength. An horse is a vain thing for safety: Neither shall he deliver any by his great strength.

Behold, the eye of the LORD is upon them that fear him, Upon them that hope in his mercy; To deliver their soul from death, And to keep them alive in famine. Our soul waiteth for the LORD: He is our help and our shield. For our heart shall rejoice in him, Because we have trusted in his holy name. Let thy mercy, O LORD, be upon us, According as we hope in thee.”
‭‭ Psalm‬ ‭33:16-22‬ ‭‬‬

I find it ironic that often as Christians we strive to be strong, to do it all, to seek deliverance and comfort at our own hands—-when time after time in scripture we are reminded that His strength comes from our choice to admit our weakness. From fearing Him. Trusting Him. Waiting on Him.

Reread that scripture. Then read it again. What are you seeking today? Deliverance? Help? A shield from life’s storms? He has an answer for you today.

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Reflecting His Light

Sitting alone in the stillness one morning at a beach vacation, I was struck with the beauty of the clouds. But then it dawned on me that the clouds’ beauty actually came from the reflection of the sun I couldn’t yet see. In fact, I couldn’t see the sun at all because of the location of our porch in relation to the position of the sunrise.

But the closer the sun came to shining its beautiful face, the brighter the clouds got, until they were almost glowing.

All those clouds had the ability to shine like that, but their relationship to the sun is what determined their beauty.

Where are you today in relationship to the Son? Are you off in the distance, doing your own thing, or are you as close as you can get, reflecting His beauty to a hopeless, desperate world?

Let your needs and sins draw you TO Him, not shame you or push you away to try to get yourself straightened up first. When my kids make a mess of things, I WANT them to come to me. To ask for help. That way all their striving doesn’t make the situation worse.

He tells us to “…come boldly…” and “come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest…” Oh how Satan loves to divide us from our source of strength, our source of hope and light and love. Cling to Him in your sorrow, in your joys, in your overwhelm. He’ll not turn you away.

And when you do, you’ll find yourself basking in His Son’s light and reflecting it to the world without even realizing you’re doing it. When you’re that close to the Son, you can’t help but reflect His beauty.

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Two Truths to Lean On When the Pressure is Too Much

Have you ever felt like you may just collapse from all the pressure you’re under? Or maybe like you just want to sit down and cry?

I sure have.

But I have good news! 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says speaks of God as One who comforts us in our tribulation. The word “tribulation” in the Greek according to Strong’s concordance literally means pressure. And if you look up pressure it means “the continued action of a weight or force” in Webster’s dictionary.

The society we live in puts so much pressure on us. We put pressure on ourselves. Sometimes the pressures are weight from our own sinful choices. Sometimes the pressure is from things far beyond our control.

Whatever the cause, the pressure is real.

The word comfort in this verse means “to call near.” I looked up call and found that among its many meanings are these: “a command; an invitation; to ask to come.” And the word near means “close; not far away.” I know this may not seem profound to you but I’m going somewhere, I promise!

From this verse, the God of the universe commands…invites…asks me to come close to Him when I’m under pressure. Not to go far away, but to come close. And that coming close IS comfort. Being close to Him is what comfort actually IS. He is the Comforter.

Satan likes to isolate us. Make us feel alone. Unloved. Uncared for.

But friend, that couldn’t be further from the truth.

He’s ready. Waiting. Inviting you to come close to Him so He can give you all the care your heart needs. After all, contrary to what so many of us believe and feel, God isn’t out to get us. If we are His children, He can can bring joy beyond what I can express! “In thy presence is fullness of joy and at thy right hand there are pleasures forever more.” Psalm 16:11

So today, take a breath if the pressure feels too heavy…and remember these two truths:

1. Comfort IS being in His presence. You won’t find true peace or comfort anywhere else on this earth no matter how hard you look. You won’t find it in work or in leisure. In perfectionism or in no giving up altogether. In doing all the things or in hiding from all the things. Only He can soothe your heart’s deepest cries. If you’ve never trusted Him, do it today! You’ll never regret it.

2. When the pressure is so very heavy, run TO Him, not away. Run toward His presence. Not hiding. Not ashamed. Not fearful and ashamed. Not trying to fix it all on your own. Not trying to earn His blessings or favor. He’s waiting and inviting you to come. You don’t have to be fancy. If you’ve sinned, just repent and come. If you make a choice to come to Him…He’ll never turn you away.

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A SUPER Simple Idea for Improving Your Relationship Your Child (WARNING: May Improve Writing & Reading Skills…NO Nagging Required!)

Sometimes life is crazy.

And in the crazy we can forget how much our little people NEED us to actually pay attention to them. To hear them. To affirm them. To answer their questions. To treat them like HUMANS and not just little annoyances.

Not just be in the room with them while they watch a cartoon.

Not take them to the park while we are on our phone.

Ouch.

But to be present. To listen. To ENGAGE .

Ever thought about how hard it would be to be a kid in this crazy time?? Or how it would feel if every time you try to figure something out, someone fusses at you or hushes you or ignores you? Not very pleasant.

And I fully understand how hard it can be to be present.

But friend, that doesn’t negate our responsibility as parents to give our children that attention. If they don’t get it from you, they’ll get it from someone… and that someone will have their heart instead of you. And I don’t think you want that anymore than I do.

So, if you’d like to do something to meet the need your child has of feeling connected to you…let me share something I recently started with my daughter.

A journal. A mother-daughter journal. It wasn’t fancy. It wasn’t expensive. Just a composition book with a cute little kitten on it (her current favorite thing ever).

I presented it to her in the form of a treasure hunt that involved completing “challenges” (which were actually homeschool lessons in disguise!) but do whatever works for you.

The concept is simple. Just take turns writing notes to each other! It can be anything from random fun questions to something that you wanted to share in the day but got too busy and couldn’t. It could be a prayer request. A secret. Something scary that they faced that day. Maybe something they’d like to talk to you about more in depth. Some genuine heartfelt encouragement from you to them…or them to you. Use your imagination to engage with them.

The goal is for your child to know that this is a way to share their HEART with you and it won’t get lost or overlooked.

You could hide it for them to find. Or just give it to them. Ever how you do it, just make it fun.

I’m hoping this will be something that we can continue into her teen years and even adulthood. Can you imagine the treasure it will be? Reading about the first time we saw a dolphin together or how hard she worked to learn to do a cartwheel?

And the bonus…improved writing and reading skills with no nagging!

Happy journaling!

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Fun Activity to Give Mommy a Minute to Rest!

So I had read about this idea online. And yet I never did it. Sometimes all the ideas just blur together…they seem fun, but too much work. This idea is NOT like that.

My sweet girl has been on an archeologist kick lately. And so it seemed like a good time to try it.

I don’t know what to call it. Maybe a dino dig. Maybe ice digging. But whatever you want to call it, your kids will love it!

Just find some random little toys.

Trucks.

Rings.

Dinosaurs.

Even coins would work!

Then put them in ice trays or Tupperware containers or both and add a drop or two of food coloring if you really want to go all out 😉

Freeze it.

Collect a couple paint brushes, salt, and maybe a cup of warm water. Tell then they are archeologists and have to dig out the artifacts. You can even google facts about archeologists and read them while they are doing it if you’re feeling really motivated.

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Even my two year old who WON’T sit still was mesmerized. Like it bought me at least 30 min or more of time not having to chase him around the yard.

With older kids, you could use money and they get to keep it!

They are begging to do it again.

You’re welcome.

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Three Ways for Moms to Add Time into their Day

Moms are busy. Moms are tired. And if you’re anything like me, you’re usually wishing for more hours in the day…because no matter what, it often doesn’t feel like there’s enough!

I’d like to share a couple tips I’ve learned to help me feel like my day has more time. I don’t always DO them, but if and when I do, I can tell such a difference.

1. PUT THE BIG THINGS FIRST. I saw an illustration once in Sunday school that I’ve never forgotten. The teacher brought in a jar and some ping pong balls. She put the balls in the jar and asked if it was full. We agreed it was.

Then she brought out some tiny beads. She poured them in the jar and they filled in the cracks. She asked again if it was full, and we said that it was indeed full this time.

Then she pulled out sand. Poured it in. We laughed and were certain this time that it was full…only for her to pour water in the jar.

She asked what would have happened if we’d started with the beads, or sand, or water.

There’d be no room for anything else.

And so it is with our lives. When we start our day with the “little things,” whatever they may be in your life, without taking time for the “big things” like spending a few moments alone with our Lord in Bible reading and prayer, then things feel like they won’t fit…because they won’t. The urgent overtakes the important.

But if you choose the “big things” and deliberately put them in first, you’ll notice a difference. However, the choice is YOURS to make.

As moms, it is tricky to find alone time. I totally get that. As a rule, I’d suggest definitely trying to get up before the kids, but if you are in a season of life when you have young babies, that’s not always possible. So when is your alone time supposed to be??

I heard this little way of deciding if you legitimately don’t have time or if you are just making excuses, and it has been very helpful to me. Each day, when you first find yourself doing something for you…like scrolling on your phone…that can (and should!) be your alone time with Jesus. Even if it’s only 5 minutes! Maybe make a rule for yourself (and ask a friend to keep you accountable!) that you can’t catch up on social media or check emails until you’ve spent time with Jesus…AND undistracted time with your kids. Which brings me to my next time-saving idea….

2. Just say no to endless mommy screen time.

This is a real struggle for a lot of moms I know, including this mom at times!

We complain we don’t have enough time. And yet we waste minutes which turn to hours … which add up to days, weeks, months of our life scrolling needlessly online.

Ouch.

I have found that a lot of meaningful conversations with my kids happen in those in between moments. They aren’t planned. They just happen. And so if we choose to use our time ignoring our kids and looking for something interesting in our online world…instead of engaging with them, how many of those moments and conversations do we miss? What kind of effect is that having on them?

How many conversations or sweet fun moments have you missed in real life because you were trying to find something interesting on Facebook?

Here’s a personal example…bathtime. The kids are distracted, yet I need to keep an eye on them, so… perfect time for Facebook, right?

Well, what if you I used those 10 minutes to fold laundry and just chat with the kiddos instead?

And don’t tune me out if it’s not bath time that you waste. You know you. So think about when you could lay down the phone and engage with your kids instead. It may seem like a choice too small to even make a difference, but lots of little decisions like tha throughout your day (and your life!) make a major difference in the atmosphere of your house… from the attitudes of yourself and your kids, to the overall tidiness and peacefulness of your home.

Please note, this suggestion isn’t to induce guilt. It comes from experience! Writing this post isn’t to brag that I’ve never ignored my kids (much to my shame, I have!!) But it is to draw attention to the fact that we as moms often create our own reality, and sometimes the problems we complain the most about are ones that we create ourselves.

Like…maybe your kids don’t behave because you haven’t trained them to do so.

Maybe your house is a mess because you are too busy looking at other people’s Pinterest worthy homes, instead of doing something productive at our your own home.

Maybe your marriage is falling apart because you are investing time in impressing people online who you’ve never even met, instead of looking for ways to impress and encourage the one you’ve pledged to help for the rest of your life.

Successful people often get ahead in the moments that other people waste, you know.

Read that again.

Successful people often get ahead in the moments that other people waste.

What time of day is coming to mind that you could be more intentional about being present by putting the phone away and creating a life you love instead of one you want to escape from?

Now…what are you going to DO about it???

3. Stick to premade decisions.

Maybe I’m the only one who does this, but I’ll decide on a great new rule… like “No eating anywhere in the house except the kitchen.” But then someone begs to eat in the living room “just this once” because of some really good reason.

And I’m tired. Or stressed. Or maybe I just don’t feel like being the rule enforcer. And so I give in.

When this happens, it sets off a chain of events that steal time and energy from me!!

First of all, there are crumbs and fingerprints and spills and smudges to clean up in other rooms of the house now.

Second, I find myself in a not-so-happy mood because my rule has been disobeyed (even though I technically am the one who allowed it to be disobeyed).

And third, my children are more likely to ask again down the road to bend other rules, because I gave in this time, PLUS I am more likely to let other rules slide, and therefore reap the consequences of that.

Oh and other thing…because of my mood change I’m less motivated to do other things that I may have otherwise wanted to do. See the bad chain reaction? NOT a good trade off.

So mommas, STICK TO YOUR RULES! Most likely if you have a rule, there’s a reason for it. And if there isn’t a reason for it, change your rule!

I hope these little tips make you feel like you have a little more time in your day…and therefore you get to enjoy your days a little more instead of counting the minutes til bedtime. 🙂